This post has been brewing in my head for months now. It came to me one day that I HAD to write about this, but I've been thinking over how I would want to do it. I still don't have exactly what I want to say and how I want to say it planned out in my head, but I'm going to give it a go anyway.
Like many pregnant women, I found out around 20 weeks the sex of my baby. And this time around, I again found out I was having a boy. A healthy boy, at that. A boy with 10 fingers and 10 toes. A boy that was developing perfectly. A boy with a normal brain, heart, spine. A boy! A BOY!
I was ecstatic. Was there part of me hoping to hear that it was a girl, so that I could run out and buy a pink outfit for my own child for the first time? Absolutely. Was Scott a tad bit sad that he would never have a daughter? Yes, he was. Would we have welcomed a baby girl with open arms? Of course! But we were thrilled beyond belief to have another son to fill our busy home. We've watched Carter and Tyler grow to be the best of friends, and we were so happy that they would have another brother to play with. I began to have visions of football games in the backyard, wrestling matches in the basement. My three boys giving each other a hard time, but in their core, really loving each other.
Then came the sharing of the news. Most friends and family were thrilled for us. Excited for our boys to have another brother. But then it started. The "ANOTHER boy???" comments. Mostly from complete strangers.
"Did you get a girl this time around?"
"Please tell me there's a girl in there."
"I guess you're going to go for a 4th now, huh?"
"ANOTHER boy? Wow. Good luck with that."
"3 boys? Oh my. You're going to have your hands full."
"Oh, a boy? Were you hoping for a girl?"
I was shocked by how many people felt sorry for me. They would have hopeful faces when asking about the sex of the baby, and after hearing my answer that it was a boy, their faces would fall. They felt so bad for me.
Seriously? I didn't just tell you that I lost the baby. That he was going to be born with a major abnormality. I told you that he was a BOY.
I know that these people did not mean to offend me. But they did. I'm guessing that most, if not all, of these people did not have 3 sons. They didn't know the never ending excitement and fun that comes with boys. The true love that a mother can feel from her boys. That we wanted another child, no matter a boy or a girl.
The first few months of this, I would get so irritated inside when I would get one of these "ANOTHER boy???" comments. Now, I just smile and tell the commenter how thrilled we are to be having ANOTHER boy!
I mean, look at these guys. Why wouldn't I want ANOTHER one????